Going into this semester, I had what now feels like very high expectations. I assumed that we would get much more of “the college experience” than we actually got. Going in, I expected that I was going to get settled in my dorm and start to meet new people. The first two weeks would be strict and limited due to COVID, but after that things would ease up a little bit and we’d be able to have more fun and more “real” college experiences. We’d be able to get involved in clubs, do more activities together, and meet more people. We would consistently have at least one class in person for the rest of the semester, and we would have consistent COVID testing. Unfortunately, none of these expectations were met. 

 

The first two weeks were much more sedate than I expected. It wasn’t too hard to meet people in dorms but finding things to do together where we could be safe was challenging. In general, finding activities to do was far more difficult than I imagined. There wasn’t really much in the way of organized activities so groups of friends had to make stuff up to do together. It was impossible to meet people outside of dorms. After the first two weeks I expected a lot to change; the only change was that CPPL was in person. Nothing else changed. 

 

The main thing that detracted from my experience this semester was difficulty with motivation. At the start of the semester, I never expected motivation to be an issue. I had plenty of motivation and assumed it would continue. However, it did not. After the first few weeks it became difficult to motivate myself to get work done because with face to face interaction it felt like I was learning things that didn’t really related to the world or other people. It felt like every day presented a list of chores I had to do and there wasn’t really anything to provide a counterpoint. In a more normal college experience, the (often boring) intro level classes that freshmen have to take are balanced out by fresh experiences: football games, clubs, etc. The interactions with others are a big part of the college experience. It was difficult for me to be satisfied staring at a screen all day and do work for professors I never got to see in person. 

 

Despite the semester being rough, I do think it taught me quite a bit about life and about myself. The lack of activity and the lack of experiences made me figure out how to create a “full life” for myself without relying on other people. It also made me realize how much I value connections with people. During the semester I did not spend nearly as much effort as I normally would creating new connections with people and maintaining my old ones. My experience this semester has made me decide to put more effort into exerting myself to make meaningful connections with my classmates, professors and others. 

 

In Public Leadership, my quality of learning exceeded my expectations. During school, and especially online school, it can be difficult to relate course materials to real life experience, especially in my computer science major. In both of my PL classes, everything that we learned was relevant and useful. I gained information not only about the world, but about how I fit in and about how I can create change. Everything that I did in those classes was immediately useful to me in my life. 

 

Overall, my experience on campus this semester did not meet my expectations. I do wish it had gone differently, but I’m grateful that it has allowed me to learn more about myself and to take responsibility for creating a good life for myself.